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# Chapter 25: When the Flame Begins to Burn
Kang Riou said he could protect Park Sojin. Sea didn’t believe him, but she chose to. Looking at his face, at his hands, listening to his voice—she chose to believe. Not the kind of belief that turns lies into truth, but the kind that finds truth within the lie. The fact that Kang Riou was trying to protect her. That wasn’t a lie.
When they left the coffee shop, Kang Riou didn’t take her hand. There was no need. Too much had already been conveyed. As his fingers uncurled, so did his resolve.
“What are you going to do next?”
Sea asked from the subway stairs leading down to Gangnam Station.
“Talk to my father. Find out if there’s a way to invalidate the contract. Legally.”
“But you already signed it.”
“I didn’t sign it. You did. And you haven’t submitted it yet. That’s how we buy time.”
The floor of the subway station gleamed. Someone must have cleaned it overnight. Seoul’s subway lines are always cleaned while people sleep. While the city dreams, someone stays awake to wash this underground world. Sea thought of those cleaners. Nameless, faceless people. Did they sing too? Did they hum their own songs while working through the night?
“What should I do?”
Kang Riou stopped beside a bench on the platform. He looked at her. Morning sunlight didn’t reach this far underground, but under the fluorescent lights, his eyes still seemed warm.
“You just… sing. Keep singing. Like you do now.”
“Like I do now?”
“With your name. With Sea’s music.”
Sea didn’t understand. She’d always sung under someone else’s name. As a house session vocalist for club bands. Or as an unnamed composer. She’d never sung with her own name. She’d tried once at a small live club in Hongdae, but even that ended up being someone else’s song.
“I can’t do that.”
“Why.”
“I don’t know how… and I’m scared…”
Kang Riou laughed. A genuinely light laugh this time. Like someone putting down something heavy.
“Isn’t that exactly what you’ve been doing all this time? Being scared, not knowing how, and doing it anyway.”
Sea couldn’t answer. Because he was right. She’d always sung while terrified. Terrified of exposing herself. Terrified of being hurt. But even while terrified, she kept singing. Because not singing felt like dying. Like holding your breath.
The subway train arrived. Wind came first. Dark tunnel wind. It tousled her hair. She always wore it tied up. Today too. Kang Riou watched that hair. And he imagined the moment it would come loose. Like when she sang.
“I’ll contact you tomorrow evening. To let you know how things go.”
“Okay.”
“And…”
Kang Riou stopped. The train doors opened. People poured out. Morning commuters. Their faces all looked the same. Tired, expressionless, moving toward their destinations. In the middle of it all, Kang Riou and Sea stood still.
“Don’t lie to me. Please.”
Sea looked at him.
“From now on, I’ll be the one lying. About the contract, about my father, about everything. But not you. Not to me.”
“Why…”
“Because I can’t bear your lies.”
His voice wavered again. Very slightly. But Sea heard it. In that moment of hearing it, she knew what she had to do. Not submit the contract. Believe in Kang Riou. And believe in herself.
“I understand.”
“Really?”
“Yes. Really.”
Kang Riou nodded. Then he boarded the train. Watching her face one last time as the dark platform slowly carried him away.
Sea took the subway back from Gangnam to Hongdae. Forty minutes. During that time, she did nothing. Didn’t check her phone, didn’t listen to music, didn’t look out the window. Just sat and looked at her hands. The hands that Kang Riou had covered with his. They still felt warm.
It was 9 a.m. when she got off at Hongdae Station. She was heading to the convenience store. Shift from 2 p.m. to 10 p.m. Before that, she had to wake up Dohyun. He’d probably been composing all night yesterday. When she’d come home exhausted from the convenience store work early this morning, there’d been piano sounds coming from his room. Right. Dohyun played piano. Sea often forgot that. Forgot that she was protecting it.
When she opened the door to the gosiwon room, Dohyun was already awake. Sitting on the bed, scrolling through his phone. His expression changed when he saw her. Worry was written all over his face.
“Noona, where did you go? You didn’t come home all night.”
“I walked along the Han River.”
“All night?”
“Yeah.”
Dohyun got up from the bed. He was five centimeters shorter than her, but growing every year. Sea found it unsettling to think that one day he’d be taller than her. The day the person she needed to protect became bigger than her.
“Look at you. You look like a zombie.”
“Thanks.”
“Seriously. Haneul came by yesterday. He kept asking where you were. I told him I didn’t know.”
Haneul. Sea thought of him. She hadn’t seen him yesterday. She’d left without her phone. Haneul probably called multiple times. Worried about her.
“I’ll contact him tonight.”
“And… noona.”
Dohyun started to say something, then stopped. Sea looked at his face. Seventeen years old. Still boyish, but gradually becoming an adult. There was exhaustion in his eyes. And an expression full of expectation.
“What.”
“Is Kang Riou treating you well? Really?”
Sea had to think to answer that. Was Kang Riou treating her well? Listening to her music, pointing out the trap in the contract, calling all night, meeting at dawn, holding her hand, making promises. Was that treating her well?
“Yeah. He is.”
“That’s good.”
Dohyun lay back on the bed. His voice sounded tired. Like he’d sacrificed something just to reassure her.
Before going to the convenience store, Sea looked at the contract again. The one in her desk drawer. Pages 45 and 14. Reading those pages, she understood what she was doing. Buying time, like Kang Riou said. Time to find a way to invalidate the contract without submitting it. That time would be an opportunity for someone and a threat for someone else.
Sea put the contract back in the drawer and left for the convenience store.
The convenience store was quiet that afternoon. Lunch rush was over, dinner rush hadn’t started yet. Sea sat at the register. She picked up her phone and put it down repeatedly. Should she contact Kang Riou? Or Haneul? How was she supposed to explain things to Dohyun?
At 4:30 p.m., a customer came in. A middle-aged man in worn-out sweatpants. Sea felt like she’d seen him before. Somewhere in Hongdae. Oh right. At a club. He’d come in sometimes to drink and listen to her sing. And he always said the same thing.
“You’ve got real talent. Why are you so buried?”
He approached Sea.
“Oh, it’s you. The girl who sings at clubs.”
“Yeah.”
“What are you doing here? At a convenience store?”
“Making money.”
The man laughed. There was the smell of alcohol on his breath. He’d been drinking even in the afternoon. Or maybe since morning. Sea saw people like him often. Somewhere in the city’s night.
“Aren’t you a singer? Why work at a convenience store?”
“Not a singer. A composer. But I need money right now.”
“A composer? That’s cool. Who writes songs for you? Or have you already written them? Then why are you so buried?”
Sea didn’t answer. Instead, she scanned the items. Four cans of beer, one bottle of soju, one can of Spam. Alcohol and food. Someone’s dinner. Or someone’s night.
“Oh, I know. You’re with that Kang Riou guy, right?”
Sea’s hands stopped.
“Saw you at the club. You’re singing and he’s just sitting behind, watching. He asked me a lot of questions. Who you were. Why you sang like that.”
“…”
“He seems like a good guy. For a chaebol son. Hey, why are you making that face? What’s wrong?”
Sea didn’t know what expression she was making. She only knew the man sensed something different. And it made her uncomfortable.
“Of course, who knows what’s really going on. There’s always something behind those chaebol people. Money, power, something. Still, on the surface, it looks good.”
The man handed over money. Sea gave him his change. And he left the store. Looking at his back, Sea wondered. What would people call what she had with Kang Riou? Their relationship. What was it?
At 7 p.m., Haneul came into the convenience store.
Sea knew the moment she saw him. Haneul knew where she’d gone. Or at least that she’d met Kang Riou.
“Hey, Sae-ah. Are you crazy? Where were you all night? You didn’t even answer your phone.”
Haneul leaned against the register. His face was angry. But beneath that anger was worry. Deep worry.
“I walked along the Han River.”
“Alone?”
“Yeah.”
“Don’t lie. You met Kang Riou.”
Sea didn’t answer.
“Seriously. What did I tell you? Be careful with that guy. Is there anything different about a chaebol son?”
“There is.”
“What?”
“There is.”
Haneul stared at her. There was an expression in his eyes she couldn’t understand. Like he was seeing a Sea different from the one he knew.
“Sea. What are you doing? Really.”
“I’m not going to tell you.”
“Why.”
“Because you won’t believe me.”
Haneul took a step back. His face showed hurt. A hurt she hadn’t wanted to give him. But she’d already given it. With words.
“Yeah. So what. That guy did something for you?”
“Kang Riou listened to my music. And he said it was real music. When did you ever say that?”
“What? That’s not fair. I told you your music was good too.”
“It’s different.”
“What’s different?!”
Haneul’s voice got louder. Customers in the convenience store turned to look. Sea watched him. His face was getting red. From anger, or from hurt, she couldn’t tell. Maybe both.
“Did you think I abandoned you? I came to Seoul because of you.”
“I didn’t know.”
“What?”
“You never asked me for it. So I always took it for granted. That you were by my side. But now…”
“Now what.”
Sea thought. How could she explain it? Her relationship with Kang Riou. Was it love? Was it music? Or something mixing the two?
“Now I… I want to know who I am.”
“What are you talking about? You’ve always known yourself because I was with you.”
“No. I didn’t know myself because I was next to you.”
Haneul stepped back. Really stepped back this time. Resignation showed on his face. And that hurt even more. Sea understood what she’d done. She’d abandoned someone. Or rather, she’d seen them again for the first time.
“Fine. Do what you want. Be happy with Kang Riou. But be careful. People like that always have a price.”
Haneul left the store. The sound of the door closing. Not a bell sound, but the heavy sound of a closing door. Sea heard it. And she knew she’d lost something important.
At 10 p.m., when Sea left the convenience store, there was a message from Kang Riou on her phone.
“I talked to my father. The contract might be able to be invalidated legally. But it’s going to take time. And during that time, my father will do something.”
The next message:
“There’s a JYA audition in two days. A debut artist discovery program. My father’s personally hosting it. Want to go?”
The next message:
“I want to see you.”
Sea read those messages. Multiple times. The last message especially, multiple times. And she wrote back.
“Yeah. I want to go.”
On the way home, Sea passed by the Han River. The Han River at night. The Han River with lights reflecting off water. This path she walked last night. Why was now different from then? Same path, same night.
Oh, I get it. She was different. Yesterday’s Sea and today’s Sea were different. Yesterday she was losing herself. A matchstick burning itself away for someone else’s music, someone else’s dreams. But today was different. Today she was beginning to see her own flame. Kang Riou had shown her that. Or rather, Kang Riou had helped her realize the flame she already had.
Sea looked up at the Han River. The night sky. Stars were barely visible. Seoul’s nights were too bright. But that was okay, she thought. She could sing without stars. With her own name.
When she got to the gosiwon, Dohyun was already asleep. His steady breathing from the bed. Sea lay on her bed. She looked at the ceiling. The old ceiling. The ceiling with mold stains. Looking at that ceiling, she wondered.
In that coffee shop in Gangnam, what did Kang Riou do afterward? After he let her go? What did he say in his conversation with his father? That the contract needed to be invalidated? That it was right? Or for some other reason?
Sea looked at her hands. The hands Kang Riou had covered. She wanted to write music with those hands. Her own music. A song with her name, to be released under her own name.
At 2 a.m., Sea woke up. She turned on the piano. Dohyun opened his eyes slightly, but closed them again. It was already familiar. His noona writing songs all night. It was part of his life.
Sea’s fingers pressed the keys. The first note. Do. And the next. Re. Then. Mi. Notes accumulated. One on top of another. Like she was being remade. Like a flame beginning to burn.
What should this song be called? Sea wondered. Her fingers kept moving. What did this flame mean? What did this music want to say?
A song of a burning match.
It burned to light someone else, then finally lit itself.
A story of such a flame.
At 5 a.m., the song was complete. Sea recorded it. On her phone’s voice memo app. The quality wasn’t good. But it didn’t matter. This wasn’t a song to give to someone else. It was a song for herself.
Listening to the recording, Sea smiled. She’d never known she could feel this excited hearing her own music. She’d never known that a song she wrote could be so precious.
At 6 a.m., Kang Riou’s call came through on her phone.
“Hey. Couldn’t sleep?”
“No. I wrote a song.”
“Now? At this hour?”
“Yeah. I wrote my own song. For the first time.”
Kang Riou’s breathing came through the phone. Long and deep. Like someone surfacing from water.
“I want to hear it. When?”
“Today. No, I mean this afternoon.”
“Before the audition?”
“Yeah.”
“Okay. I’ll pick you up. At 1 p.m.”
“What is the audition?”
“Oh, I need to explain that too. I want to put you on stage.”
“On stage?”
“Yeah. With your own song. With your own name.”
Sea’s hands trembled. The hand holding the phone. Like Kang Riou was covering it again.
“I’m scared.”
“Me too. But we’re going to do it. Together.”
The call ended. Sea listened to her song again. Like the burning flame in that song, Sea’s chest began to burn too.
Volume 1 was coming to an end. And Volume 2 was about to begin. What would happen there? What would become of Sea on that stage? What would Kang Riou’s father do? And what about Park Sojin?
She didn’t know yet. But Sea was no longer afraid. Because her flame was burning. And there was someone lighting that flame for her.
Dawn was breaking. Seoul’s dawn. Someone was waking up, someone was sleeping, someone had stayed awake all night. Between all those nights and mornings, Sea’s music continued to burn.
END OF VOLUME 1