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# Chapter 191: Words That Cannot Return
Mom closed her eyes.
In that moment, Seo-ah thought her heart had stopped. But it kept beating. The monitor kept signaling. The medical staff kept moving. The world didn’t stop. Only Seo-ah stopped. Sitting on a bench, between Do-hyeon and Hae-neul, under the fluorescent lights of the corridor.
Do-hyeon was biting his lip. The boy still said nothing. But Seo-ah knew what his silence meant. That he didn’t know either. Or that he knew but couldn’t say. Both were bad.
“Did Mom wake up again?”
Seo-ah asked.
Do-hyeon shook his head.
“She just… fell asleep. The medical staff gave her something, and then…”
Do-hyeon’s voice was small. A child’s voice. Not a seventeen-year-old boy’s voice, but someone much younger. Every time Seo-ah heard it, her chest felt like it was being torn apart. This was what she had done. What she had taken from Do-hyeon.
“What did the doctor say?”
Seo-ah asked.
“That she needs rest now. And they’re running more tests tomorrow. There might be something they missed. In her brain.”
In her brain. The words hung in the air. Seo-ah imagined her mother’s brain. Something broken somewhere. Or burned. Or touched by someone. And the thought that it might be her fault suffocated her.
Hae-neul brushed Seo-ah’s back. Without words. Her touch was warm. But warmth wasn’t enough anymore.
“What exactly did Mom say? Everything.”
Seo-ah looked at Do-hyeon.
Do-hyeon bit his lip. Deeper this time. As if something might break if he spoke.
“Do-hyeon.”
Seo-ah spoke again.
“Your sister asked you to tell her. After the doctor left.”
Do-hyeon mumbled something.
Seo-ah’s body went rigid.
“What did Mom say?”
“She kept calling for you. Over and over. And she grabbed my arm and… told me to go to you. To tell you something.”
Do-hyeon continued. His voice still small.
“Tell me what?”
Seo-ah’s voice cracked.
Do-hyeon looked up. His eyes were swollen and red. Tears flowed. The boy wasn’t crying, not exactly. But the tears kept coming. As if his body was moving against his own will.
“To please come see her. And…”
Do-hyeon said.
“And?”
“And she’s sorry. Over and over. She said she’s sorry.”
When those words reached Seo-ah, she didn’t know what kind of creature she was. Not human, it seemed. Or too human, and it was unbearable.
“Sorry for what?”
Seo-ah asked.
Do-hyeon shrugged. He didn’t know either.
Seo-ah stood from the bench. Slowly. As if her legs were heavy. As if her body was trying to hold her back. But she stood. She walked toward the hospital room. Do-hyeon tried to grab her arm. But she was already walking.
“Seo-ah, wait…”
Hae-neul said.
But Seo-ah was already opening the hospital room door.
Mom was still asleep. Or unconscious. It was hard to tell. On the bed, Mom’s face looked peaceful. As if it didn’t need to endure anything. As if it had been freed from all pain. Seo-ah wanted to cry when she saw it. But she couldn’t. There were no tears left inside her. Only embers.
Seo-ah sat beside Mom’s bed. This time, the medical staff didn’t stop her. Perhaps they looked like they had nothing more to say.
“Mom.”
Seo-ah whispered.
Mom didn’t respond.
“I heard. What you said. I heard everything.”
Mom was still sleeping.
Seo-ah took her mother’s hand. It was warm. Still. But it would grow cold soon. Everything grows cold. Seo-ah knew that. Passion. Love. Hope. Everything eventually cools, and all that remains is gray ash.
“Your voice… it was burning. What is that, Mom?”
Seo-ah asked.
No one answered.
“What is Kang Min-jun? Who is he?”
Seo-ah asked again.
Still, no one answered.
Seo-ah released her mother’s hand. Slowly. As if it might break. And she stood. She left the room. She returned to the corridor. Do-hyeon and Hae-neul were still sitting on the bench.
“Did you ask the medical staff?”
Seo-ah said.
“Ask what?”
Hae-neul asked.
“Why Mom is here. What happened to make her collapse.”
Do-hyeon opened his mouth.
“The doctor said it was just stress. Extreme stress. And high blood pressure. Because she wasn’t taking her medication. And…”
“And?”
Seo-ah asked.
“Her heart isn’t good either. A weak heart. Anytime…”
Do-hyeon didn’t finish. But Seo-ah knew. It could stop anytime. That’s what he meant to say.
Seo-ah sat on the bench again. This time it felt like kneeling. As if her body was surrendering to something.
“What can I do?”
Seo-ah asked. Not to anyone else. To herself.
Hae-neul grabbed Seo-ah’s shoulder.
“Nothing right now. Just being here. That’s all.”
But Seo-ah knew that wasn’t enough. Being here. That was something she had already failed to do. Something she had already chosen not to do. At Gangnam Station. In that alley. When she met Kang Ri-woo.
Seo-ah’s fingers trembled again. Those fingers. What had they done? Seo-ah couldn’t remember exactly. But she knew they had done something. Something irreversible.
A phone rang. Someone’s phone. It seemed to be Do-hyeon’s. Do-hyeon took it out. Looked at the screen. And his face went pale.
“What? Who?”
Seo-ah asked.
“Kang Ri-woo.”
Do-hyeon said.
Seo-ah’s heart seemed to stop. No, it beat faster. As if something wild was trapped inside her chest.
“Why?”
Seo-ah asked.
Do-hyeon shook his head.
“I don’t know. He’s just calling.”
Seo-ah took Do-hyeon’s phone. Her hand trembled. She pressed the call button.
“Kang Ri-woo.”
Seo-ah said.
She heard the other person’s breathing. Fast breathing. And a voice. Not a voice Seo-ah knew. Or it was a voice she knew, but changed. As if someone had burned it.
“Seo-ah. Where are you right now?”
Kang Ri-woo asked.
“At the hospital. Mom…”
Seo-ah said.
“I know. That your mom collapsed. I know.”
Seo-ah’s fingers trembled more severely.
“What? How did you know?”
“My father told me. That your mom collapsed. Where she is.”
Those words hit Seo-ah like a blow. Kang Min-jun. Kang Ri-woo’s father. And her own father. That man knew her mother. And he had just told Kang Ri-woo about it.
“Kang Ri-woo, what is this? What are you doing?”
Seo-ah asked.
“I can help you. I can move your mom to a better hospital. Better doctors. The best medical team.”
“I don’t need it. What I need right now is—”
“You need to meet my father. To see your mom. That’s the condition.”
Those words froze the air in the corridor. Condition. The price of help. Seo-ah already knew these things. But this time it sounded different. More direct. More dangerous.
“What if I don’t meet him?”
Seo-ah asked.
Silence flowed from the other end. Then Kang Ri-woo’s voice came again. But different this time.
“Then my father will move your mom by force. To his hospital. And he’ll make you a deal. For your mom’s treatment, you’ll have to become his.”
Seo-ah couldn’t speak. She didn’t know where her voice had gone.
“Or I’ll help. Meet me now. Within an hour. At Hangang Park.”
Kang Ri-woo continued.
“How can I trust you?”
Seo-ah barely asked.
“Right. Don’t trust me. Then it’s even better. My father will get your mom anyway. It’ll be easier that way.”
The call ended.
Seo-ah put the phone down. Slowly. As if it were a bomb. Do-hyeon and Hae-neul were staring at her. Fear filled their eyes.
“Unnie?”
Do-hyeon whispered.
Seo-ah said nothing. Instead, she stood. And she looked at Mom one more time. Inside the hospital room. At Mom sleeping. Her face still looked peaceful. As if it had been freed from all pain.
Seo-ah walked out of the corridor. Toward the elevator. Hae-neul and Do-hyeon followed.
“Seo-ah, wait!”
Hae-neul tried to grab Seo-ah’s arm.
But Seo-ah was already entering the elevator.
“Where are you going?”
Hae-neul asked.
Seo-ah pressed the button. First floor. And the doors closed. Trapping her friend inside.
As the elevator descended, Seo-ah looked at her hands. They were still trembling. And she imagined her own voice. Burning. The voice her mother feared. What exactly it was, Seo-ah still didn’t know. But one thing was certain.
It was something that couldn’t return. Once it came out, it could never go back in. Like fire. Like fire that, once it starts burning, consumes everything.
She arrived on the first floor. The doors opened. And Seo-ah stepped out into the Seoul night.
# The Choice at Hangang Park
## Part 1: The Voice of Malice
The fluorescent light in the hospital room cast a cold white glow. Beneath that light, Seo-ah’s mother looked like a specimen in a glass case. The heart monitor beeped rhythmically—beep-beep-beep—and the oxygen machine whispered softly—whoosh-whoosh. Seo-ah stared at her mother’s face. Wrinkled forehead, sunken eyes, pale lips. All of it pressed down on her chest.
“Seo-ah, who was that?”
Do-hyeon’s voice came from behind. The anxious tone of her younger brother. Do-hyeon, a sophomore in high school, had always struggled with situations like this. Three weeks since Mom collapsed. In those three weeks, Do-hyeon had realized there was nothing he could do, and that realization had made him smaller and smaller.
“Who were you talking to?”
Hae-neul’s voice was firmer. Unlike the other friends, Hae-neul knew Seo-ah well. Admitted to Seoul National University’s pre-med program, Hae-neul was learning the cruelty of medical reality by coming and going from this hospital room. In three weeks, Seo-ah’s mother hadn’t improved. The neurosurgeons had only said things like “we can only pray for a miracle,” and the insurance company had notified them they wouldn’t cover any more hospital bills.
Seo-ah brought the phone to her ear. The screen had already gone dark. About ten seconds since someone hung up.
“It’s Kang Ri-woo.”
Seo-ah answered. Just speaking that name made her mouth taste bitter. Kang Ri-woo. That name alone felt like a curse.
“Kang Ri-woo?”
Do-hyeon’s voice wavered.
“That Kang Ri-woo? The notorious—”
“Yeah. Him.”
Seo-ah cut him off. She didn’t have the strength to explain.
Hae-neul came closer to Seo-ah. As if trying to observe her friend’s face carefully. Seo-ah avoided her gaze. She didn’t want to know what her face looked like. It was probably pale, filled with fear.
“What did he say? What’s going on?”
Worry and anger were already mixing in Hae-neul’s voice.
Seo-ah took a deep breath. Drawing oxygen deep into her lungs, then slowly releasing it. The smell of the hospital room flowed out—disinfectant, and the stench of rotting food from somewhere.
“He said he could move Mom to a better hospital. Better doctors. The best medical team.”
Seo-ah spoke slowly. As if the words coming from her mouth belonged to someone else.
“Isn’t that good?”
Do-hyeon asked. In that simple question was the desperate desire to do anything if it meant curing Mom’s illness.
“There’s a condition.”
Hae-neul spoke first. Like a pre-med student, she was already learning the structure of deals in this world. Good things always demand a price. Especially favors from someone like Kang Ri-woo.
“Yeah. I have to meet his father. And if I don’t—”
Seo-ah’s voice wavered. She wanted to put the phone down. She didn’t want to tell anyone what she’d just heard. But Do-hyeon and Hae-neul were watching her. They needed to know.
“Kang Ri-woo’s father will move Mom by force. To his hospital. And he’ll propose a deal to me. For Mom’s treatment, I have to become his.”
When Seo-ah finished the last sentence, the air in the hospital room seemed to freeze. The fluorescent light’s buzz sounded especially loud. The heart monitor’s beep-beep-beep felt faster.
Do-hyeon’s face went pale.
“Then… what now?”
“He said to meet him now. Within an hour. At Hangang Park.”
Seo-ah answered.
## Part 2: Descending in the Elevator
“Wait. You’re really going?”
Hae-neul tried to grab Seo-ah’s arm. Her hand was warm. Seo-ah needed to feel that warmth. Because she felt like she would have to leave soon.
“Yeah.”
Seo-ah answered. And she stood.
In that moment, Seo-ah realized how weak her legs had become. For three weeks, she’d moved between the hospital room and the café, the hospital room and the café. She hadn’t eaten properly. She hadn’t slept properly. As a result, her body no longer felt like her own. Like a puppet controlled by someone else.
Seo-ah looked at Mom one more time. Lying on the bed. A gray blanket covered her body. Her face looked peaceful. As if freed from pain. Or as if she knew nothing at all.
“Seo-ah!”
Hae-neul called again, reaching out.
But Seo-ah was already moving. She pushed the door to the hallway open. It made an ugh sound. Cold air flowed out. Leaving the warmth of the hospital room, entering the cold world of the corridor.
The 7th-floor corridor was approaching 9:50 PM. At this hour, the hospital grows quiet. The nurses were finishing their evening shift, and visitors were all leaving. Seo-ah’s footsteps echoed in the corridor. Down. Down.
“Where are you going?”
Do-hyeon followed. His voice was getting smaller and smaller.
Seo-ah didn’t answer. She pressed the elevator button. Her finger was still trembling. No, it wasn’t just trembling. It was completely convulsing. Like a broken machine’s nerve.
‘Am I sane?’
Seo-ah asked herself.
The sound of the elevator coming down. Ding-ding-ding-ding-ding—the sound of a metal box moving vertically.
“Seo-ah, wait!”
Hae-neul ran over. Her face was serious. As a pre-med student, Hae-neul already knew so much. What kind of person Kang Ri-woo’s father was. How his hospital operated. And what happens to people who go there.
“What are you doing?”
Hae-neul shouted.
The elevator doors opened. An empty elevator. The mirror walls reflected Seo-ah’s image. She saw herself. Black hoodie, dark eyes, pale face. Like a ghost.
“Are you sane?”
Hae-neul tried to grab Seo-ah’s arm.
But Seo-ah was already stepping into the elevator. Trapping her friend outside.
“Where are you going?”
Hae-neul asked again. The doors were slowly closing.
“Hangang Park.”
Seo-ah answered.
And she pressed the button. First floor. Ding—the doors closed completely.
The elevator began to descend. As gravity accelerated, Seo-ah’s body lifted slightly. That falling sensation. It wasn’t just physical.
Seo-ah looked at her hands. Still trembling. She picked up her phone. She thought again of Kang Ri-woo’s last words.
‘What if I don’t meet him?’
She already knew the answer. Kang Ri-woo’s father would get her mother anyway. It would be easier that way. Mom’s insurance had already run out. This hospital wouldn’t treat her anymore. She’d have to move to another hospital. And that hospital would be Kang Ri-woo’s father’s.
‘Then?’
Seo-ah asked herself.
‘Then isn’t it already over for me?’
The elevator passed the 4th floor. 3rd floor. 2nd floor.
‘I have to save Mom.’
Seo-ah murmured.
‘I have to save Mom. That’s the only thing I can do right now.’
It arrived at the first floor.
Ding—
The doors opened.
## Part 3: Seoul at Night
The first-floor lobby of the hospital was empty. It was approaching 10 PM. Only the night nurse sat at the counter, and a cleaning lady was pushing a mop across the floor. Seo-ah walked toward the emergency room, avoiding them.
The night air hit her face. Seoul air at 10 PM in October. Cold, with a hint of moisture. Her breath rose as white vapor.
Seo-ah opened the map app on her phone. Current location: Samsung Medical Center, Daechi-dong, Gangnam-gu, Seoul. Destination: Banpo District, Hangang Park. Distance: approximately 3.5 km. Travel time: 10 minutes by car, 25 minutes by public transit, 45 minutes on foot.
She couldn’t afford a taxi. All her money had gone to Mom’s medical bills. Now her pockets held only a few 5,000-won coins and a card.
Seo-ah headed toward the bus stop.
On the bus, Seo-ah watched Seoul pass by the window. Seoul at night. Neon signs flickered. Cars rushed past. People on the streets all walked toward their own destinations. No one paid attention to a pale-faced high school girl.
‘What am I doing right now?’
Seo-ah asked herself.
The night view outside the window blurred past. Gangnam Station, Kyodae Station, and getting closer to the river. The smell of the river began to reach her. The cold smell of water. The smell of old earth.
‘Am I really doing this insane thing?’
Seo-ah’s hands trembled more severely.
‘No. This isn’t insane. This is… survival.’
The bus arrived at the entrance to Banpo District, Hangang Park. Seo-ah got off. 10:40 PM. Twenty minutes remained until the “within an hour” that Kang Ri-woo mentioned.
Hangang Park was filled with the darkness of night. There were a few streetlights, but they only illuminated the paths. The park itself looked like a giant black shadow. The river was even more so. Black water. Water that looked devoid of life.
Seo-ah walked into the park. Her footsteps echoed on the concrete. The feeling of being alone intensified.
‘Mom.’
Seo-ah murmured.
‘Mom, do you know what I’m doing? Am I really losing my mind?’
In that moment, a black Mercedes appeared at the park entrance. Its headlights shone on Seo-ah. She met the light. It was too bright. Too direct.
The Mercedes stopped. The back door opened.
Kang Ri-woo appeared.
## Part 4: Face to Face
Kang Ri-woo was exactly as Seo-ah remembered. Black coat, cold eyes, and what looked like a perpetual smirk at the corner of his mouth.
“Welcome.”
Kang Ri-woo said. His voice sounded more dangerous than on the phone.
“Where’s your father?”
Seo-ah asked. Testing how her own voice would sound.
“He’s not here yet. I need to see you first.”
Kang Ri-woo came closer. Seo-ah instinctively stepped back.
“Do you want to save your mother?”
Kang Ri-woo asked.
“Yes.”
Seo-ah answered.
“Then follow me. And listen to what I say. Exactly.”
Kang Ri-woo extended his hand.
Seo-ah looked at that hand. Clean, orderly, and ready to grasp something.
‘If I take that hand?’
Seo-ah thought.
‘If I take that hand, I can never go back. Like fire. Like fire that, once it starts burning, consumes everything.’
Seo-ah raised her hand.
And…
—
An ending that seems to continue
(The next part is to follow)