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# Chapter 141: A Choice Beyond the Phone
The sound of Kang Riou’s breathing through the phone felt like waves crashing against shore. Rhythmic yet erratic. Sae-ah’s feet were already moving toward Gangnam Station. At some point—she couldn’t say when—her steps had begun carrying her there. To Kang Riou’s office. Or perhaps somewhere else entirely. Sae-ah didn’t know for certain. She was simply following the voice on the other end of the line.
“Sae-ah.”
Kang Riou spoke again. The way he said her name had changed. Before, his tone had held the quality of possession, as if he owned her. Now it was different. It was the voice of someone realizing, in real time, that they were losing her.
“I’m here.”
Sae-ah replied.
“Where?”
“Hongdae. I just came out of the subway station. I’m heading to Gangnam now.”
Silence fell again. A long one. Something moved through that silence—Sae-ah could feel it. She knew his hands were shaking. They always did. Every time he tried to hold onto her. Every time fear whispered that he might lose something.
“Wait.”
Kang Riou spoke. It wasn’t a command. It was a plea. “There’s something I need to tell you. But I can’t do it over the phone. I need to see your face.”
Sae-ah’s feet stopped. People pushed past her. Hongdae Station’s entrance on a Saturday evening. Couples on dates. Others heading to clubs. Others going home. Everyone moving toward their destination. Only Sae-ah remained frozen at a single point on the street.
“Kang Riou.”
Sae-ah spoke. Her throat was still burning. As if someone had left a fire lit inside her. That heat hadn’t left her for days. “Do you know what I want?”
“What do you want?”
Kang Riou asked. His voice trembled.
“I want to know what I want.”
Sae-ah continued. For the first time, she was trying to answer that question honestly. “My mother told me something. She said I’m trying to save someone. That I’m trying to save you. But if I can’t save you, I’ll fall into that darkness too.”
Kang Riou’s breathing quickened.
“Is that true?”
Sae-ah asked.
“Sae-ah…”
“Answer me.”
Sae-ah spoke. For the first time, with such directness. In her voice was the desperation Dohyun had shown her at the noodle restaurant. “What do I want? What do you want? What are we supposed to do after the verdict comes down? Just… tell me.”
Kang Riou didn’t answer. Only his breathing remained. That alone seemed proof that he didn’t know the answer himself.
Sae-ah ended the call.
In that moment, the world stopped. It felt that way at least. Every sound in the Hongdae alley vanished at once. The music, the laughter of passersby, the rumble of car engines. Only the wind remained. That cold wind cutting between the buildings.
Sae-ah’s hands trembled. Just as Dohyun had predicted. Every three seconds. Precisely. As if a clock ticked inside her body. That regularity was both terrifying and reassuring. At least it was proof she was still alive.
Her phone rang. It was Kang Riou. She didn’t answer this time. She watched the screen vibrate. Once. Twice. Three times. Then silence. Then it rang again.
This time the screen read “Mother.”
Sae-ah’s heart stopped. Mom. When had she last answered her mother’s call? Weeks maybe. Perhaps longer. Since going down to Jeju, Sae-ah had ignored her calls. Left only text messages. Always the same one: I’m fine. Waiting for the verdict. I’ll come down after.
Sae-ah answered.
“Sae-ah?”
Her mother’s voice. Tears came at the sound of it. Sae-ah realized she was crying. But her eyes felt numb, as if someone had placed ice over them. No sobs came. Only tears fell. Silent ones.
“Yes. Mom.”
Sae-ah spoke. Her voice cracked.
“Dohyun told me you’re going to Gangnam. That you’re meeting someone.”
Her mother spoke. Her voice had changed too. Over these past weeks. It had become weaker, more uncertain. “You’re going to see him, aren’t you? That man.”
Sae-ah didn’t respond.
“Sae-ah. Listen to me.”
Her mother continued. “Do you remember what I told you? That you’re always trying to save someone. And that if you can’t save them, you’ll fall with them.”
“Yes.”
Sae-ah said. Tears continued to flow.
“Can that man save you?”
Her mother asked.
“I don’t know.”
Sae-ah answered honestly.
“Then why do you stay by his side?”
Her mother’s voice rose. For the first time. Her Jeju dialect broke through. “You know I was a haenyeo—a diver. When I go into the water to pull something up, I know exactly where to reach. But what if what I grab is a stone? What if I grab a stone and it pulls me down to the bottom? That’s you and that man, isn’t it?”
Sae-ah couldn’t answer.
“Sae-ah. Tell me exactly what you’re doing right now.”
Her mother asked again.
Sae-ah stopped walking. She looked at where she actually was. An alley heading toward Gangnam Station. The buildings were growing taller. Skyscrapers were swallowing the sky. This was Gangnam. The land of money. Kang Riou’s world.
“I’m heading to Gangnam.”
Sae-ah said.
“Why?”
Her mother asked.
“I don’t know.”
Sae-ah answered. “I just… feel like I have to go.”
“Why?”
Her mother asked again. More forcefully this time. As if she needed to shake her daughter awake with a louder voice.
Sae-ah stopped. She really stopped and thought. Why was she going to Gangnam? To meet Kang Riou? To hear what he wanted to tell her? Or to let him go?
“I…”
Sae-ah opened her mouth.
“I think I want answers.”
She said. “What Kang Riou wants to tell me. What happens to us after the verdict. Whether I should keep trying to save him. Or whether I should save myself instead. Those kinds of answers.”
Her mother’s breathing was audible. Long.
“Sae-ah. Do you really think that man can give you those answers?”
Her mother asked.
Sae-ah didn’t respond. Because that answer was no. She knew it already. Kang Riou couldn’t give her the answers she needed. He didn’t even know his own answers.
“Sae-ah. Come home.”
Her mother said. To Jeju. Though the word itself wasn’t spoken, Sae-ah understood what her mother meant.
“I have to go to Gangnam.”
Sae-ah said.
“Why?”
Her mother asked.
“Because…”
Sae-ah spoke. And in that moment, she understood. “I think I need to tell him that I have to let him go.”
Silence followed. Her mother’s silence. Was it the silence of acceptance or the silence of despair? Sae-ah couldn’t tell. But in that silence, she felt her mother understanding that her daughter had already made this decision.
“Then be careful.”
Her mother finally said. “And after you see Kang Riou, come home. Come down to Jeju. That’s where you belong.”
“Okay, Mom.”
Sae-ah said.
The call ended.
Sae-ah began walking again. This time with a different purpose. To let him go. She understood now that this was the only way to save herself.
She moved toward Gangnam Station. The buildings grew taller. The lights grew brighter. Neon signs illuminated the sky. This was Gangnam. Kang Riou’s world. But Sae-ah no longer wanted to belong to this place.
Her phone rang again. Kang Riou. This time she answered.
“Will you come?”
Kang Riou asked. His voice was strained.
“Yes. I’m on my way.”
Sae-ah said.
“Thank you.”
Kang Riou said.
“You have something to tell me, right?”
Sae-ah asked.
“Yes. There’s something I absolutely have to tell you.”
Kang Riou replied.
Sae-ah ended the call and began walking again. Toward Gangnam. But this time, she walked differently. Not as someone trying to save another, but as someone trying to save herself. The difference was small, but infinite.
Night was falling. Seoul’s night. But this night was different from nights before. Sae-ah wasn’t afraid of this darkness anymore. Because she had already experienced the worst. And even through that worst, she had survived.
The building near Gangnam Station came into view. That was where Kang Riou’s office was. Or his apartment. Either way, Sae-ah had to go inside. One last time.
She entered the elevator. The 32nd floor. The numbers climbed. One floor at a time. Sae-ah looked at herself reflected in the elevator mirror. Her face seemed unfamiliar. As if it belonged to someone else. But her eyes—those eyes now clearly understood what they wanted.
The elevator reached the 32nd floor.
The doors opened.
Kang Riou was there. In that space with Seoul’s night view beyond the windows. His hands were still trembling. But this time they trembled differently. Like the hands of someone who knows they’re losing something irreplaceable.
“Sae-ah.”
Kang Riou spoke.
“Yes.”
Sae-ah replied. And in that moment, she opened her mouth to tell him clearly that she could no longer save him. But Kang Riou spoke first.
“I love you.”
When those words came out, Sae-ah realized something. Every declaration of love she’d ever heard was a lie. And this one might be too.
“I know.”
Sae-ah said. And then she added: “But that’s not salvation.”
Chapter 141 End