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# Chapter 98: How the Fire Goes Out
“I understand.”
Kang Riou repeated the words. As if they were the only words that existed. As if they were all the acknowledgment he could offer.
Listening to him, Sea-ah wondered what she had expected. For Riou to make excuses? No. For him to blame her? No. For him to cry? He was already crying. So what had she been waiting for? Sea-ah didn’t know. She’d simply thought this conversation would end something. But it wasn’t an ending. It was a different beginning. A heavier one. One closer to silence.
Haeul was still by the door. Her face wasn’t visible. But Sea-ah knew she was listening. To all of it. And judging. But not interfering.
“I’m going to press charges.”
The words left Sea-ah’s mouth before her mind could catch up. It wasn’t a plan. It wasn’t a decision. Just something that spilled out, as if her lips were thinking faster than her brain.
Kang Riou didn’t move when he heard it. Nothing moved. Not even his breath. As if those words had frozen him in place.
“I know what I’ll do, and I know what you’ll have to face. But I’m doing it anyway. Because…”
Sea-ah stopped. What came after because? Because she was angry? No. The anger had already burned out. Because she wanted revenge? No. Revenge would only burn her further. Because?
“Because I have to live.”
Something shattered in the room when she said it. Something invisible broke. In Riou’s face. Or in Sea-ah’s chest. Or in the air between them.
Kang Riou opened his mouth. Like a fish again. A fish gasping for air. But this time, no words came. Instead came crying. Real crying. An adult’s cry. The sound of someone who had lost who they were.
Sea-ah watched that cry. And she knew she couldn’t take another step forward. A distance her hand couldn’t reach. That was the farthest she could go right now.
“A lawyer will contact you. Sometime next week. They’ll explain everything.”
Sea-ah spoke as if delivering a business briefing. As if her voice wasn’t her own.
Kang Riou was crying. But the tears were growing quieter. Like a battery running out. Like he’d already spent all his energy on crying.
“I’m leaving now.”
Sea-ah said.
Haeul stepped forward. Naturally. As if she’d been waiting for this moment all along. She placed her hand on Sea-ah’s shoulder. Heavy. Warm.
“Let’s go.”
Haeul said.
As Sea-ah and Haeul left the room, Kang Riou’s crying continued behind them. But it was already a sound from another world. As if the moment Sea-ah walked out of that room, Riou was simultaneously walking out of his own life.
In the hallway, Haeul stopped Sea-ah.
“You did well.”
Haeul said.
“At what?”
Sea-ah asked.
“Letting him go.”
Haeul said.
Hearing that, Sea-ah realized what she’d actually done. It wasn’t letting Riou go. It was letting go of something inside herself. The part that wanted to kill him. The part that wanted to save him. The part that thought she loved him. She’d let go of all of it.
“What are you going to do now?”
Haeul asked.
Sea-ah already had an answer to that question. Or rather, not an answer exactly, but a direction.
“I have to go to Jeju.”
Sea-ah said.
“What?”
Haeul asked.
“My mom is there. Do-hyun too. I need to… see them. I need to show them what I’ve done.”
Sea-ah said.
“That’s a good idea, but…”
Haeul said.
“But?”
Sea-ah asked.
“But first you have to handle things here. The charges. Meeting with the lawyer. Going back to the police station. Following through all the steps.”
Haeul said.
“I know.”
Sea-ah answered.
“And there’s something else…”
Haeul paused for a moment. As if gathering courage for what came next.
“You have to make music again.”
Haeul said.
Hearing that, Sea-ah realized she’d forgotten. Music. The songs she’d sung. The pieces she’d written. That voice that had helped people. She’d forgotten all of it. Because of Riou. Because of the charges. Because of survival. But it was still inside her. Still burning. The fire hadn’t gone out yet.
“How?”
Sea-ah asked.
“I don’t know. That’s something you need to figure out. But from what I understand… you’ve already written songs. How many? Twelve?”
Haeul said.
“Thirteen.”
Sea-ah corrected her.
“Then thirteen. Those thirteen songs—you need to think about what they should become. That’s going to be your next step. Pressing charges against Riou is important, but what’s more important is finding your music again.”
Haeul said.
The hospital morning was still gray. But Sea-ah was seeing it differently now. Gray was nothing. Gray was a beginning. The color before all other colors arrived. The darkness before all the lights came on. But the darkness was waiting for light. For Sea-ah’s light. Her song. Her voice.
While waiting for the elevator, Sea-ah looked at her hands. Small hands. Thick fingers. Hands that had been hardened in Jeju’s cold water during childhood. Hands that had pushed Riou away. Hands that would have to reclaim her life.
The elevator arrived. When the doors opened, two doctors were inside. They looked at Sea-ah and Haeul. They didn’t say anything, but their eyes spoke. Eyes that had seen something. Eyes that understood.
“Let’s go.”
Haeul said again.
Inside the elevator, Sea-ah saw herself in the mirror-like wall. She still looked like herself. Same face, same hair, same clothes. But something was different. It was her eyes. Her eyes were clearer now. As if they’d come into focus. As if a camera shutter had opened.
When she left the hospital, morning sunlight hit her face. Cold, clear sunlight. The kind of winter sunlight that seemed determined to illuminate everything.
In that light, Sea-ah thought about what she had to do.
Meet with a lawyer. Go back to the police station. File the charges. Follow all the procedures. But that wasn’t all. There was what came after. That was where her real beginning would be.
Going to Jeju. Seeing her mother. Seeing Do-hyun. And…
Starting music again.
The thought moved something in Sea-ah’s chest. Something like a spark. A weak spark still. But it was there. It was still there. No matter how much she’d burned.
“What are you thinking about right now?”
Haeul asked while they waited for a taxi.
“Thirteen songs.”
Sea-ah said.
“What?”
Haeul asked.
“The thirteen songs I wrote. I’m thinking about what they should become.”
Sea-ah said.
Haeul laughed. A real laugh. With her voice. For the first time.
“Good. Then first you have to survive. Meet the lawyer, go to the police station, do everything. And then release those thirteen songs to the world.”
Haeul said.
“Yes.”
Sea-ah answered.
The taxi arrived. Haeul opened the door. Sea-ah got in. As she settled into the back seat, she looked out the window. The hospital receded behind them. And Kang Riou was left inside. Fourth floor, room 409, gray walls, trembling hands.
Sea-ah no longer felt that was her burden. It belonged to Riou. It was what Riou had chosen. What Riou had created. What Riou would have to bear.
And her? She had to create something different now. Something of her own. Not Riou’s fire, but hers. Not Riou’s music, but hers.
The taxi headed toward Gangnam. That’s where the lawyer’s office was. The first step. Then the police station. Then Jeju. And then…
Music.
Sea-ah looked at her hands again. Small hands. Thick fingers. The hands that had pushed Riou away. These hands would now have to unfold thirteen pages of sheet music. These hands would have to dance across a keyboard. These hands would have to find her voice again.
“You’re really strong.”
Haeul said from beside her.
“I’m not strong.”
Sea-ah answered.
“What?”
Haeul asked.
“I’m just… I have no choice but to live. So I live. Not because I’m strong, but because I can’t die.”
Sea-ah said.
Hearing that, Haeul took Sea-ah’s hand. A warm hand. A truly warm hand. A different warmth than Riou’s. Not the warmth of salvation, but the warmth of companionship.
The taxi kept moving. Morning kept getting brighter. A winter morning. The sun was low, but it was clear. As if trying to illuminate everything.
In that light, Sea-ah saw herself. And realized something. That she was still burning. Still on fire. But for a different reason now. Not for Riou, but for herself. Not for Riou’s music, but for hers. Not for Riou’s voice, but for her own.
That fire was still weak. But it existed. And it would continue. To Jeju. And beyond. And beyond that. Forever.
Seoul outside the window was changing. Becoming a new day. And Sea-ah was changing too. In the back seat. Hand held. Moving forward.
[END OF CHAPTER 98]